After Michelle Obama Crowned “DNC Prom Queen,” Melania Trump Calls “Do-Over” on Speech 

It’s GOTTA suck to be the laughing stock of the country after what was supposed to have been your crowning moment– the Republican debutante ball– turns into a debutante-debacle.

You take me home right NOW, TheDonald! This Republican National Cotillion sucks Slovenian Mooseballs! (Melania’s epic fail as GOP Debutante)

But then on top of that to have First Lady Michelle Obama come out swinging on the first night of the DNC dance– all classy and beautiful and moving and inspiring? Well that’s just RUDE!

Michelle Obama makes me feel proud; and not just proud of her, but of her “other half,” as well.

(APOLOGETIC FEMINIST SIDEBAR: Yes, of course a woman is her own person, whole and complete, apart from any other “half,” defined by herself  and herself alone, yada yada yada…)  

I’m a pretty girl, Mama! (Michelle Obama has become our Lady Diana. She’s SO over-the-top-awesome she makes me allllmost feel bad about raggin’ on her Slovenian stepsister.)

Still… a married woman is also a reflection of the man she married, because the kind of woman a man chooses as his life partner reveals a lot about the man.

So it makes me proud that our president has set the bar so high. He has redefined for the 21st century American male what kind of woman they should consider “attractive.” You don’t need to say goodbye to the concept of the “trophy wife.”  You just need to check
what kind of contest she’s representing.  

Michelle Obama gives America some pointers on keepin it classy at the DNC.

Because make no mistake —  Michelle Obama is a trophy wife, all right. But she’s the kind of trophy you’d place on the same shelf as a Nobel Peace Prize more than you would, say, a Miss America crown. When most men are content to reach down to the bottom
of a Cracker Jack box for their matrimonial prize, Barak dug a liiiiiitle bit deeper… and struck gold.

Michelle. She’s our Lady Diana. No doubt about it.

Michelle Obama – a trophy wife? Yup- if your trophy shelf includes a Nobel Prize.

 

As far as First Ladies go, I’ve never had an opinion one way or the other about ANY of them, save Jackie Kennedy. But she was more than a First Lady. She was in a class by herself, that one. Michelle seems to be following in her footsteps.

Michelle is the first time I’ve admired and respected any First Lady as much as their corresponding Commanders In Chief.

Michelle & Barak combined heals something in a generation made cynical by divorced parents, domestic abuse, addiction, and loveless, upper-middle-class marriages standing for nothing except their credit card limit.  Mama and Daddy are at the helm. We can go to sleep. They’ll protect us. The tippy top of the White House wedding cake is balanced now- yin and yang. Little groom figurine and little bride figurine, holding hands.

Damn I’ll be sad to see these two go. But I’m gonna put a slice in the freezer for safe-keeping.

Now- onto some low-brow Melania-gate videos for your enjoyment.

Vine (6  inspiring seconds)

YouTube (under 2 min.):